Sunday, November 14, 2010

"People are Lonely because they Build WALLS... instead of B R I D G E S" ~Joseph F. Newton

We all have walls we build for ourselves called our identity, ego, self image, reputation, persona etc...but those walls become prison walls trapping the real YOU inside if you do not build bridges to let yourself out, and more importantly, let others in...

So many of my family and friends live lives of pain, and suffering, tolerating their lives and enduring the pain every day because they spend all their time building up that wall and not sparing anytime or neglecting time to build what is equally if not more important, their bridges.

What builds our bridges is the love we share with those around us, the love we receive, the love in our hearts and in our actions towards others continuously and unconditionally.  It is the love we feel towards our children, family, friends, communities, and the world we live in.  Every time we love someone, we build and strengthen the bridge from our wall to theirs.  The more we build our bridge and send out our love unconditionally, the more those bridges will strengthen, and the more the love will come back.

Connecting deeply with others, being a friend, caring for a child, living and loving your life daily, are all ways we build the bridge that will set us free, free from the walls that keep us inside, trapped, feeling all the unnecessary pain, that by loving and feeling the love, takes away.

So if you're feeling lonely, stop focusing on your Wall, your self, your problems, your pains, your mistakes, and simply put, You.  Focus on building your bridge by loving and accepting yourself, then your children, your family, friends, all the people in your life, your partners, your neighbors, and your world daily, and keep in mind that the greater your wall, the greater your bridge will need to be.

So start today by taking the time to send out some love, even if it's just a word, nice thought, friendly gesture, a positive quote, feedback, or comment, on Facebook, via email, twitter, phone, in person, in every form, in every way, and ideally in everything you say and do.  Because in love as in life, every thing counts, and is never a waste of time.

So let me start by saying I love you my family, my friends, supporters, and readers, not because you are reading my blog, but I love you because you are my bridge, without you my life would be lonely, and would cease to exist.  Thank you deeply with all my heart for being in my life, circle, world, today, tomorrow, and hopefully, always...

In Love, Light, and Luxury,

James Pham
EnlighTea Cafe Publish Post


  1. This is so heartwarming and so real... I love it!! You inspire me to be a better person.... and a better blogger!! :)

  2. This has touched me deeply... Thank you James!
    It's like breathing in and out...
    Loneliness arises when the other is missing.
    Being alone on the other hand, means "being all-one". Sharing arises naturally and authentically from a space of all-oneness.
    Love and blessings,

  3. What are wonderful sharing. Your post really shift my way!!! To be deeply connect to my friends, supporters and people who I meet in my life is what I need to BUIlD.

    Love you and really grateful you are in my life.Even I never meet you in person, however, you just like my great brother. (Auctually you really looks like my brother :))I am 80% Chinese & 20% Jew.

    I was born and grow up in China and moved to Hawaii almost 10 years.I almost didn't know how to speak English when moved here 10 years ago. I used 2 years to study English and 2 years to finished my Bachelor degree as accounting major...I am so lucky have meet and made so many good friends in my life. However, sometime I feeling lonely even I have some much. Your post made me realized that I didn't really wants to connect the peoples who I meet. I didn't honestly to love myself so "DEEPLY"! I also buidling so much WALLS because the excuse of a Gap between Chinese & American culture....

    We are all the same!!!

    Always your friend & love you!


  4. James, what you say is so true. Often, I don't think people realize how easy it can be to bring new people into one's life, when one is focused on caring about others as a way of being.

    That does not need to mean being a doormat, allowing other people to use you, but just taking a genuine interest in what other people are up to.

    The Gift, and what Thach and Matt teach, is a good starting point for people who want better relationships in their life, in family, friends or business.

    I always naturally took interest in others, and found it easy to connect to other people, but since I have been hanging around The Gift community for three years, I have learned even more conscious approaches to meaningful connection.

    Just a little bit of time spent paying attention to other people's dreams and goals, here and there, makes a huge bond grow.

    When we take a few moments to make an introduction, give a referral, pass on some useful information, or even just to ask how it is going and then actually listen, the bonds grow.

    What I see is that every person, no matter how successful, has some area where they have what I call "a bubble of pain." Some area where they could use some help or support. It might be serious, because someone has died, or it might just be their eagerness to succeed in business, but everybody has "something" on their mind.

    Realizing that all humans have these feelings is a great place to begin to connect, because it puts everybody on the same playing field, there is no need to be intimidated by anyone.

    By seeing this in people, I have been able to reach out and connect with people no matter how accomplished they are, and support them.

    This is a benefit, because I end up with an inspiring friend, who in return makes my life more full. By supporting them, I also grow.

    Good topic. Filling up one's life with good people is totally within the individual's control.

    Suzette Sommer

  5. Beautifully put James:) It's amazing how I just wrote on my facebook wall about how what we give to the world is what comes back:) This is beautiful and shows the importance of "LIFE." I recently lost a family member and even though I hadn't seen him in a while, so many memories...He was my step dad for 18 years since I was around 8 years old. His death really made me think of the man he was and the impact that he made in my life. The sad thing was I realized that he was living his life I guess as you put here with the wall instead of the bridges. He was always working or stuck on the TV or computer. I don't remember emotional support. He was a good financial provider to my mom and the family but the sad truth is it showed me and reminded me how important our lives are and I don't want to be remembered like that. I want to be remember with the love and compassion and contribution I made in the world to serve and achieve my dreams along with theirs. It was such a profound sad and beautiful gift he left me. Anyways thanks again James because I live by this philosophy. Not always easy and yes I bang into the walls every now and then. The key is to hit the wall so hard that you finally knock it down and see the beautiful bridges, rainbows, and transformation when we believe, love, have faith and know what LIFE is really about. Blessings my friend! XOXO
    Vicky Cummings

  6. @Elle I feel the same way about you...

    @Deva Then the favor was return because you words do touch deeply as well...thank you!

    @Haifan I am so sincerely happy for you. When I lived in NYC alot of my friends were Chinese...I was the only American one ; ) They always spoke chinese around me and I knew not one word...but they accepted me and respected me because I accepted them and respected them...Yes, you are right, in the end, we are all the same...

    @Suzette I agree, Matthew and Thach are great teachers to learn how to be a better person and have better relationships especially when applying their Gift to others...YOU are a great student of them and Life, and a great friend and contribution to our community here as well. Thank you for being a part of our lives. : )

    @Vicky Thank you so much for sharing your so real story. I seems your step dad in the end may have become a true blessing for you if what u receive is what is now your beautiful and priceless philosophy "To be remembered with love and compassion and to serve and achieve your dreams along with others..." Yes please do knock down those walls, but until then, keep building these bridges...

    In Love, Light, and Luxury to you ALL,

    James : )

  7. Awesome stuff, James! We need to take the eyes off ourselves and focus on serving and loving other people - building bridges. That is the true joy and fulfillment of living life.

    God bless,


  8. Rex, thank you for sharing your kind and true words...May we all continue to build bridges that extend out for eternity...

    May God continue to bless!


  9. If you want to take much from this piece of writing then you have to apply such techniques to your won web site.

    Here is my site:

  10. Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization?
    I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good results.

    If you know of any please share. Kudos!

    Also visit my blog post; I have man boobs - Is it permanent?

  11. If a woman is on birth control pills or suffering
    from thyroid problems or menopause these conditions can lead to a decreased desire for
    sex. Like I had mentioned earlier, turmeric is a powerful anti-inflammatory.
    Pesticide exposure can also cause birds to produce eggs with soft shells, which either break or
    offer little protection to the chick developing within, resulting in clutch failure.

    Feel free to visit my site Medav ARS-8000

  12. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I've truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    After all I'll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

    my web site ... vapir nos mercado libre

  13. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message
    home a little bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog.
    A great read. I'll definitely be back.

    Here is my page - Prosolution Pills

  14. I have been browsing online more than 3 hours as of late, but I never discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours.
    It is pretty value enough for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers
    made excellent content as you did, the net will likely
    be much more helpful than ever before.

    Here is my web blog :: ()

  15. Very much realistic works are noted here. I liked it very much